Lorraine

All of my heroes turned out to be fakes. And then I have to return to myself, to ask myself 'how much of a fake am I.' And I turn to the lady who declared to me 'I am always alone.' And of course, I wonder, if she herself is a fake too. And if she is a fake then my affection for her is a fake also. I guess that I miss her and I really don't know why. And just the other night, she was in my dream, and she was crouched and with a different colour of hair, and she looked in discomfort. And I awoke from my dream to find her nowhere around me. And then I began to ask questions of myself, like 'who is she?' and what are my real feelings for her? And 'why am I in this place at this particular time.? And anytime she comes into my mind, I tend to smile. And I am not sure that we were cut out to be lovers. And I'm not even sure that she will remember my name, and I'm not so sure of myself anymore. And I can't be easy about my thoughts of her. There is no guilt just the feeling of foolishness on my part. It has been a long time, and the days increase the longness. And I spent my day, today, alone and being alone. I couldn't find very much to do with myself. It was a strange place for me to be in. And Lorraine in truth is far from me. I don't even know if I will ever see her again. And I don't even know about her feelings for me, or the lack of them. She remains a mystery to me.

The Unifying Factor.

This battlefield where the warriors unite in their defencelessness. Unified by an unforeseen horror. Frightened by the day and each passing one. And we seem to be armed with not a lot more than statistics. We are set upon, and we don't know why, and for how long, and we don't know the reason why. This evil mystery plays about with our lives, and we have no choice but to succumb to it. And we as a race don't tend to take adversaries seriously enough to allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by them. We are spirited and within the spirit lies our character. And within our hearts lies our love. There are many aspects to love. There is the love between a man and a woman and there is the love in a simple friendship where nothing much is asked for and where only friendship is gained. And from these things lies our oneness as a race. Love is the essence of our being, it can deceive us but we are unable to deceive love. Because without it we lack and are weak and are possibly devoid of spirit. And when a mysterious and evil enemy comes looking for us all, I believe that we would have to gather up all of the love that we have to attack it and to defend ourselves with.