From the Present to the Past

My thinking is crazy and it permeates my dreams. And sometimes a time before, is not as distant as it seems. It calls me and it faces me and demands answers. It is not a gentle thing, in fact it is assertive and it seems to wish to get to the heart of me. And time is dissolved and it travels to the present and invades my mind, my conscience. Love can be so elusive, even when it assails you. And sometimes, the past is reconciled with now, and then you wonder where you take that, how you can use it. And there is no past and no present in the overall scheme of things, there is just the total experience, and memory of then and now, and even less than memory, in the stillness of the mind. Some things didn't happen in a particular moment that was available to them to happen, and then, can never have the opportunity to happen again. And then again all of this can be caught in a moment of time, magical time, and its trickery, and the games that it likes to play. I felt that you were around somehow, today, and I cursed you in the darkness of my memory of you, when I had care and you raped it with recklessness. And love can be without touch, and it can overwhelm and it can endure and it can be selfless, and it can imagine, and it can embrace from the present to the past.